Defects

“You are humble not when you humble yourself, but when you are humbled by others and you bear it for Christ.” (Saint Josemaria, “The Way” at 594).

Gethsemane (The Hour is Near) (Anthony Falbo)

I hate being wrong.

Maybe it is because the work that I do requires a very high level of accuracy?  Mabe it is because I am used to aiming high and grew accustomed to being careful enough to prevent many mistakes before they eventuated?  Or maybe it is because I am just stubborn and proud and do not like to admit that there is something that I am not good at or would not be capable of doing?

Despite my preference to not make mistakes, I am a human being, and like all human beings, I am prone to error.  Sometimes I make mistakes because I make an error of judgement and just get something wrong.  Sometimes I make mistakes because I am inexperienced in something and as a result of that inexperience I am left with making decisions that I cannot fully grasp and therefore make the wrong decision due to my inexperience in understanding a better option.  And sometimes I make mistakes because I am careless.

Whatever the reason for my defects and mistakes I very rarely want anyone to know about them.  The Saints are humble of heart.  While it is true that it is impossible to be a Saint until we have died (because a Saint is only canonised by the Church after their death) – as a result of certain tests and investigations, which include evidence of miracles -  when they have reached Heaven, it should be no surprise that someone is canonised a Saint.  In other words, it is the humility of the Saints that distinguishes them and allows them to live lives of great holiness.

Even the most misunderstood souls need to be humble to attain Heaven…

Saint Josemaria wrote in “The Way” at 594, “You are humble not when you humble yourself, but when you are humbled by others and you bear it for Christ.”

Saint Faustina was misunderstood by many of the nuns within her convent.  Many of them thought she was lazy and problematic.  They considered that she made up her illness to get special favours and that she was a problem for the remaining healthy members of her community because they were tasked with caring for her and that was an additional job for all of them.  And yet, if you were to examine her behaviour and actions, you would see that she was a holy woman.  She lived a life of sacrifice and self-denial.  She was governed by God and her love for Him was so great that she was willing to sacrifice anything for Him – even terrible pain.

She was not concerned for her defects and mistakes.  Rather, she was concerned about giving offence against God.  She was concerned only with pleasing God.

And I have been thinking about that today as I consider my own life and defects.  And it seems to me that I have it all wrong – this worry about what other people may think of my mistakes.  After all, the only mistake that matters is the one that displeases my Lord…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.