Bad

Whoever knew that all those little BAD things that I have been doing have created such a chasm between me and my God?

Christ the Judge (Fra Angelico)

Change is a difficult thing.  I often reflect on the significance of change.

After all, the one thing that I would genuinely like to do is be comfortable.  I would like to sit in the same spot at the same time and make sure that there is nothing else that I am required to do other than enjoy my time.

Now, if I had been lucky enough to have had a different Eve – someone who did not give into temptation and disobey God through pride – then perhaps that dream may have been achieved.  After all, we were created to live in the Garden of Eden in perfection until the end of our earthly lives, whereby we would be assumed into Heaven – as the Blessed Virgin was – body and soul.  We would be in constant communion with God and our knowledge of Him – though less than that of the Angels – would be sufficient that we would be able to understand Him well enough to know that in His perfection, God is protecting us, and we would truly have nothing to fear.  And when that knowledge is combined with the absence of sin, it would mean that nothing bad would happen –BAS, which is the absence of GOOD, would actually not exist at all.

You see, that definition of BAD – being the absence of GOOD – is a reflection of what actually happened with Original Sin.  Original Sin is the first time that a human being decided to REJECT God.  And that rejection was respected by God – even though it ruined everything for US – which meant that when God is rejected we turn our backs on Him and make an absence from Him.  This is not to say that He changes – He does not.  What it does mean is that when we turn our backs on God, He waits for us to turn back, but while our backs are turned, we feel the absence of God.  And that absence is a space.  And that space is the absence of GOOD and in that absence is the BAD…

And each time I am asked to change and do something to pull myself back towards the GOOD, I feel it as a giant tug.  And man oh man, is it uncomfortable!

Each time I feel that I feel the temptation to do that BAD thing one more time.  After all, I have already done it a million times before.  What difference does one more sin make, or one more time do?  But the difference is magnificent.  After all, if every sin is just ONE MORE WRONG, then though one more is not such a big deal, it is ONE MORE ABSENCE OF GOOD.  And THAT is a bigger deal than everything.

If I never stop and change then every choice just leads me further away from my Beloved who is waiting for me.  And when I stop and think about that I am struck dumb.  For whoever knew that all those little BAD things that I have been doing have created such a chasm between me and my God?

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.