Fall

“If ever you fall... go quickly to Confession” (Saint Josemaria, “The Forge”, 192).

Jesus Weeping at Lazarus' Tomb (Jerry Dienes)

I try to be perfect.  I always have.

It is a quirk of mine.

I am sure that this makes me almost impossible to live with.  This sort of behaviour means that I over think things, and set high expectations.  It means that I have little patience or tolerance for people who make little effort.

And yet, I – like most people – fail and fail often.  Sometimes the failure to be perfect does not really bother me and at other times I am completely overwhelmed by it.

Upon reflection it does not seem quite strange that I would expect that I could live my life without making mistakes or falling short.  But it seems that is exactly what happens in my tiny little mind – most of the time.

Perhaps this is the sin of pride – this feeling like I am invincible.

It is a crazy sort of assumption.  After all, I could drop dead halfway through typing this very sentence and never finish the thought that is in my mind.  And if that happened, I would need to be prepared to face my God.  After all, even Christ said of the end of the world, “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.” (Matthew 24:36)…

And I have been reflecting on that today, for it seems that the Evil One can work a lot of malice in the fall and in the delay…

When my eldest son was quite young, he fell from the play equipment in the park across the road from our home and broke his arm quite badly.  The bone in his arm was in pieces.  His father rushed him to hospital and the bone was set.  Afterwards – for some time – both my son and his father were deeply traumatised by the experience of setting that bone.  It was terribly painful and required physical manipulation.  Afterwards the arm was placed in plaster, and we were given instructions about allowing the bone time to heal without jarring it or moving it too much.

Sin is a bit like that broken bone.  It is a distortion of what is healthy and right and can cause a great deal of suffering and pain.  And yet, just like setting a broken bone – there is terrible pain in the setting, and then afterwards, special care must be taken to ensure that the bones do not move and can heal straight – the Sacrament of Reconciliation is like the plaster cast and the medication and the time it takes to heal the bone – it heals!

And I have been reflecting on that today as I reflect on the importance of attending quickly to a broken bone…  “If ever you fall, my son, go quickly to Confession and seek spiritual guidance. Show your wound so that it gets properly healed and all possibility of infection is removed, even if doing this hurts you as much as having an operation.” (Saint Josemaria, “The Forge”, at 192).  Because there is a terrible temptation to forget the sins…  And “At the time of examination beware of the devil that ties your tongue.” (Saint Josemaria, “The Way”, 236).

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.