Despair is a turning away from God and His plan…
The other day I had an argument with someone who I care about. And – as things do in the heat of the moment, when emotion runs high – both of us said things that we regretted.
That day was a sad day for me because I do not like to hurt the people who I care about and I certainly do not like to hurt them unintentionally just because I am angry or frustrated or stressed or hurt. That night before I went to bed, I remember that I felt very sad that I had “ruined” everything in a few heated words that were unintentional and that had been expressed in anger…
The Saints are very wise about these sorts of things. The Saints have often been quoted to say things along the lines of… “Why would I allow a moment’s anger to destroy the discipline and self-control that I have built over a period of years?”
And I have been reflecting – not only upon the anger but also upon the feeling that everything is ruined through anger – today.
You see, everything is NEVER EVER ruined in this lifetime. Yes, things may be terrible and difficult and awful. Tragedies happen and people die, and others will chose never to forgive us. Bu even despite those terrible things, nothing is ever RUINED in this lifetime. And the reason it is not ruined is because there is always a tomorrow.
And in fact, this is why suicide is such a terrible offence to God. Because suicide is a lack of trust in God’s ability to make things better tomorrow. Suicide is the ultimate expression of a loss of hope. And because HOPE is the fruit of SUFFERING, suicide is the ultimate expression of evil in the world, because it is an expression of how the purpose of suffering is destroyed and instead of generating hope, it generates despair. And that despair is a turning away from God and His plan…
And so, as I went to sleep that night feeling like everything was ruined, I remembered that I have been given the gift of time (be it short or long). You see, God could have created me outside of time and space. I could have had one shot to get things right (as the angels did) and then if I failed at that I would have been doomed – as were Lucifer and his minions. But God had a different plan for me. And God’s plan is so wonderful that it can include arguments. Because God is bigger than anything that I could ever say or do and God’s plan is broader than anything that I could ever imagine.
And that means that though I shall try never to have another argument again or say things in anger, if my human weakness overcomes me and my self-control fails me, I can trust in my Lord and God – because He will make sure that everything can be fixed for eternity…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.