Awake

“‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’” (Matthew 26:41).

Christ in Gethsemane (Heinrich Hofmann)

I have been reflecting on the experience of Christ and His disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane…

On the night before He died, Christ called three disciples to come with Him and pray in the Garden.  They were not selected at random.  These three were the three in His inner circle.  These three men had witnessed the Raising of Jairus’ daughter from the dead, they had stood before His Transfigured state on the mountain and they had seen the moments of His glory and glorious revelations.  These were Saints Simon Peter, James and John…

The Passover meal was finished and Christ had heard the promises of Saint Simon Peter, who adamantly declared that he would follow Christ to death – only to deny Him in the courtyard a few hours later…

"Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.’” (Matthew 26:38).

And after moving away to pray, Christ returned to the sleeping men.  How much grief there must have been for Christ in that moment.  How terrible the weight of loneliness to see His companions – to whom He had offered everything and for whom He was suffering and dying – sleeping as though they had not a care in the world.

When my children were first born they did not sleep very well at night.  In fact they often stayed awake crying for many hours each night for a period of many many many months.  During that time my husband would often sleep through the night as though there was no sound at all.  I used to sit in the dark hours of the night and carry my little babies and think to myself that there was a reason that it is called the loneliest hour of the night so late at night.  It is a lonely time at that time of night…

Then He returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’  He asked Peter.  ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’” (Matthew 26:40-41).

Here Christ is searching gently…  But the question in my mind is why?  After all, what difference would a few hours of sleep make for Saint Simon Peter now?  And I wonder if the answer is not in the preparation?  In this garden human weakness is exposed – just as it was exposed int eh Garden of Eden…And here, sleep is not just physical rest, it is spiritual vulnerability…  Here, Christ is warning the disciples to pray so that they do not fall into temptation…

He is warning them not to neglect their prayers while the night is silent so that they will have the fortitude to resist temptation when the silence of the night is over…

And I have been thinking about this as well.  You see, on those long nights with my babies, I could always handle things better if I had rested a little during the day first.  I needed to be prepared.  I would have a cup of tea ready to drink.  I would turn the heater on to warm the room.  I would have a stroller in the loungeroom in case the baby needed to be rocked slowly back to sleep.  I would have nappies and bottles and plans of how to get the babies back to sleep.

And it occurs to me that I spent an awful lot of time preparing for a night of trying to get my babies to go back to sleep and I spend almost no time preparing to sit with Our Lord in His torment…

And I have been thinking about that today, as my Beloved suffers alone in the night.  And it is a terrible thing to realise.  A terrible terrible thing to leave my God alone…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.