Chattering

“You are asking for something that would be harmful to your salvation if you had it – so by not getting what you've asked, you really are getting what you want.” (Saint Catherine of Sienna).

Christ Sculpture (Unknown)

There are so many things that I pray for and that I want.  I often pray for things during my day.  Sometimes I pray for big things and other times I pray for the little ones.  Sometimes I pray that a client will settle down and pay me on time and be grateful for the work we have done.  Other times I pray that my children will be obedient and safe.  Sometimes I find myself praying for really big things – the health of a loved one or the repose of a person’s soul.  I pray sometimes for the Holy Souls in Purgatory.  And other times I pray for little things, like finding a parking spot at the supermarket.

What is prayer – after all – other than a conversation with my Beloved?  And what do I care if He hears me prattling away all day?  I am God’s child and I see myself as God’s child and as that Child, I yap away to my Father, my Daddy, my Dad, all day and all night.  I know He does not need my words or prayers to know and love me, but like a little toddler, I need Him.  I need to prattle away at Him so that I do not forget about Him and I do not replace Him in my mind.  And it gives me great comfort in feeling Him so near to me – and there is such comfort in my relentless chatter to my God.

Sometimes, God answers my prayers with a YES.  He finds me the parking spot or keeps my children responsible and good, or He makes sure that my clients are happy.  And other times, God answers my prayers with a NO!

Saint Catherine of Sienna said, “You are asking for something that would be harmful to your salvation if you had it – so by not getting what you've asked, you really are getting what you want.”

And I have been reflecting on that paradox.  You see, there is only the GOOD that comes from God – whether it appears that way to me now or not.  And this means that when my loved one is not healed – it is GOOD.  And when my client is dissatisfied – it is GOOD.  And when I am troubled or feeling lost or alone – it is GOOD.

It is not the suffering that hurts us.  Rather it is the fear of suffering that is the problem.  And when we can learn – through GRACE – that suffering is not a thing to be feared, then – and only then – can we actually consider through the eyes of Saint Paul the Apostle, “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us.” (Romans 8:18).

And I have been thinking about that today as I have been thinking about my prayers.  Perhaps this is why I find so much comfort from constantly chattering at my God.

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.