Exams
“Surrender your heart to God, turn to Him in prayer, and give up your sins – even those you do in secret. Then you won't be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.” (Job 11:13-15).
My eldest son is required to complete some very important exams this year. It is a rite of passage that many children experience as a result of coming to the end of their school life. And this sort of thing causes lots and lots of children a great deal of stress.
Now, I am not one to make a big deal of exams. Although I expect my children to prepare for their exams, I am certainly never really bothered if they do not do terribly well in exams. I always think to myself that there is always going to be another way to get something done that does not involve the original plan and that people who did not do very well at all at school still manage – somehow – to do reasonably well in life in many circumstances. I do not see any huge benefit in stressing about exams – generally it just causes a child to do worse than expected because they are focused on their stress rather than on the work at hand.
I have been thinking about those exams for my son over the last few days. I have noticed that the closer he gets to the exams, the more stressed he became and the less productive. And as I was considering his predicament, I started to consider my own. After all, what is this life but an exam to test whether we can trust in the Holy Will of God enough that we can allow Him to direct our course? And what is our exam preparation other than the practice of surrender to the Holy Will of God?
The more I stress about preparing for my final meeting with God – the final judgement – the less time I spend surrendering my will to God’s Holy Will. And this is just like the stressed student. When I am focused on the wrong thing and when I try to do everything myself, all I really do is get in my own way. All I really do is make sure that I distract myself from the real goal – which is to surrender to God’s Will.
“Surrender your heart to God, turn to Him in prayer, and give up your sins – even those you do in secret. Then you won't be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.” (Job 11:13-15).
And I have been reflecting on those words as well. Because it is so much easier to keep the same old habits and look around frantically to try to blame God for what is going on with me. And the reality is that if I really did as God wanted, I would have nothing to stress about anyway. The exam preparation would be done, and my place would be assured. But instead of simply following the rules that God provides, I spend my time stressing about the final exam, rather than just rolling up my sleeves – so to speak – and getting on with the surrender. And that – I have come to realise – is the whole problem…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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