If it hurts me this much to forgive (and I am riddled with sin and no better than the souls I am forgiving), then how much more difficult is it for God (who is perfect) to forgive sin?
I think the most heartbreaking thing in the world is to have to forgive someone for a wrong they have done to you.
More often than not, my feelings have been hurt unintentionally. People have, in the spur of the moment, or in the heat of anger, said or done things that are terrible and have hurt my feelings. And I too – in moments of anger or weakness or thoughtlessness – also hurt the feelings of others.
And I have been reflecting on that today. You see, when I hurt other people and need to apologise to them and ask for their forgiveness, what I am really doing is wasting time and energy. You see, when I hurt another soul in any way, what I am actually doing is creating a need for forgiveness. And that need for forgiveness is really just a sign that I took something that was whole and beautiful and I broke it – deliberately, or carelessly, or maliciously, or intentionally, or unintentionally. And in breaking that beautiful whole thing, I have now somehow – through my thoughts, words or deeds, made everything a little bit worse than it used to be.
And I have been thinking about that. Because forgiveness is a choice – not a feeling. And that means that when people decide to forgive, they make a decision to accept the waste of time and energy that was created by the thought, word or deed that caused them harm. And when they accept that they decide that they are willing to accept (with love – for forgiveness is the greatest expression of love) the weakness, malice or carelessness of another and to love that other soul anyway, with the supernatural love of Charity…
As a human being when I am called to forgive someone for what they have done or said to me, I do this – with great effort and struggle – knowing something of my own weak human nature. In other words, when I forgive another, I do so with the words of the Lord’s Prayer ringing in my ears, “…forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…”. And that really just means that I forgive another soul bearing in mind that I have sins that need to be forgiven me…
But what about God… God is perfect. He made a beautiful perfect world and put beautiful perfect human souls into it. And everything was planned out perfectly. And then what happened? Well – without rhyme or reason – we beautiful human souls wrecked everything. We got into the world and started to sin. And all that perfection was wasted. And everything that God had planned was wasted. And that meant that the heartbreak that I feel when I face the prospect of having to forgive another soul for their general human weakness is magnified ad infinitum when God sees what a mess He is left to forgive. And magnified ad infinitum when God the Son – Christ – had to enter time and space to suffer and die so as to forgive our sins (to forgive my sins).
And that is something to think about. Because though forgiveness is very hard for me when my feelings are hurt and my work destroyed, how much more does my Beloved forgive for every single sin from the beginning of time until its end?
And how heartbreaking is all of that for Him – He who is without sin…? And I have been thinking about His heartbreak today. Because if it hurts me this much to forgive (and I am riddled with sin and no better than the souls I am forgiving), then how much more difficult is it for God (who is perfect) to forgive sin? How much more difficult?
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.