Perfection

Perhaps God wants me to get started even without the perfect plan, because maybe, just maybe, He wants me to learn a little something important, like forgiveness, along the way.

Perfect Sacrifice (Amanda Hukill)

I like to think of myself as a bit of a perfectionist.  I generally try to have an entire plan mapped out to the last possible detail before I even take the first step.  I often hold myself back when there is something that needs to be done if I am not sure how to offer a feasible solution.  And I do not do this because I am lazy or tired or stupid.  I do this because I am conscious of the great responsibility of being a person of my word.  And that means that if I say that I will deliver something or accomplish something, then I really will do as promised.

Now, this can be a double-edged sword.  You see, on the one hand it is a very easy thing to wait around until everything is lined up and everything is in a row.  And of course, we can have lots of control over lots of things that way.  After all, it takes a great deal of discipline to wait and wait and wait until something is really in the prime position for optimal uplift before making a move.  But there are problems with this approach as well. One of the main problems with waiting for perfection is that nothing will ever get done.  We can get stuck waiting for the perfect set of circumstances, rather than launching in and realising that life can evolve as time goes on and things can be learned along the way and just because the plan is not fully formed on the first day it does not mean that it will not become formed over time…

The other day I read some words by Saint Josemaria, and he said, “People who are perfect are found only in Heaven.”

And I have been thinking about that as I have been thinking about my perfect planning and my planning to be perfect.  You see, all that planning is just really another way of trying to take control over the uncontrollable.  And that can be a terrible thing.

But as I have considered the impact of planning, I have found myself thinking about perfection more broadly…  You see, there is something inside me – and probably inside you too – that demands perfection in OTHERS.  Something inside me gives me permission and makes excuses for my failings, but when I see the same failings in you, I never justify or excuse them.  Instead, I outline all the ways that your failings are your fault and mine are the fault of circumstances.

And it seems, that as I have considered the importance of perfection in my life, I have also to consider the importance of failure.  For there is great forgiveness to be practiced at the bottom of failure – forgiveness of myself and forgiveness of others.  And perhaps, this is just one of the reasons that God wants me to get started even without the perfect plan, because maybe, just maybe, He wants me to learn a little something important, like forgiveness, along the way.

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.