Worst

“Fear of suffering, on the other hand, hardens us in self-protective, defensive attitudes, and often leads us to make irrational choices with disastrous consequences.” (Father Jacques Philippe, “Interior Freedom at page 47).

Mother and Child (Unknown)

Sometimes I just have a really bad day.

Perhaps it is something that I have done or something that I have thought about?  Perhaps it is just having a bad attitude?  Or maybe, someone has upset me?

Sometimes the day is just awful.

And I have been thinking about what it means when the day is awful and how my response can determine the way that the day will go.  After all, it is one thing to think that a day is going badly and quite another to think about how we can work within the circumstances of the day that is before us.

The other day I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I was just frustrated and miserable and there was really nothing very particular about that morning that had contributed to that feeling, but it was certainly a very uncomfortable feeling to have.  I found that the more the morning progressed, the more frustrated and annoyed I became.  And as I became annoyed, I became more grouchy, and more irritated.  And the more I gave into those feelings of annoyance, the more annoyed I became.  It was as though the annoyed feeling as a self-fulfilling prophesy…

I have been reflecting on that feeling over the last few days.  For there was a lack of freedom in me in being able to extract myself from the yoke of that stress.  I was unable to pull myself out of those annoyed feelings.  And the more I think about it the more I realise that that lack of freedom was the result of a sort of cynicism that I would be unable to alter the course of my day…

I have been reading about suffering, and I have come to learn that “What really hurts is not so much suffering as the fear of suffering. If welcomed trustingly and peacefully, suffering makes us grow. It matures and trains us, purifies us, teaches us to love unselfishly, makes us poor in heart, humble, gentle, and compassionate toward our neighbour. Fear of suffering, on the other hand, hardens us in self-protective, defensive attitudes, and often leads us to make irrational choices with disastrous consequences.” (Father Jacques Philippe, “Interior Freedom at page 47).

I have been thinking about my attitude today, on my worst of days, and it seems to me that if I could just learn to peacefully welcome trust of God into my life, there would be no reason to become distressed.  Instead, even on my worst of days, I would be able to experience a comfort and a joy that I could not even begin to put into words.  For after all, is that not what my Beloved promises me, if only I choose to place my trust in Him?

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.