My Beloved bears all things for love of me, and all I can do is see my own small misery – and complain…
We recently adopted a little kitten because our chickens moved to chicken-heaven (which is also known as my sister’s farm) and our children missed having little animal-friends roaming around our backyard.
At the time of her adoption, we were advised to have our little cat desexed (when she was old enough) because this would better suit our lifestyle, would also be better for the general health of the cat, and because we had no plans to breed cats. And so, when the veterinarian told us that the time was right and that our little cat was old enough, we took her in to the veterinary clinic for her surgery. The surgery was a very common one with no complications and yet, when we collected our little cat from the clinic, we were worried that she might have some lingering pain after her surgery, and for that reason we purchased some pain-relief medication for her to use while recovering at home. We were also advised by the veterinarian to keep her in a small enclosed area for a few days so that she would not accidentally injure herself while she was recovering after surgery.
And in observing that cat’s recovery, I came to realise some very profoundly sad truths about my relationship with God…
Our cat really did not seem to experience pain in the way that I was expecting her to, following her surgery. In fact, she acted as though nothing had happened at all, and though we gave her the pain-relief medication that we had purchased for her, she seemed not to need any because she was trying to jump around all over the place and was very unhappy that she was being locked into a small room to limit her physical activity.
And this behaviour of the cat reminds me of my own behaviour in my sinfulness and in my relationship with God...
You see, the cat has a much smaller ability to comprehend what is happening to her and within the world when compared with me as a human. If I had surgery like that cat, I would feel more pain than the cat because I would have a greater understanding of the whole experience and its implications. And in this way, my pain would be both physical and psychological… And this is sort of like God when compared with me... You see, when I sin, I am like our little cat after surgery. I feel very little pain because I have very little understanding of the implications of my sins. And when I compare my incomprehension with God’s perfect understanding of the terrible terrible consequence of sin, I am horrified. For I am like that cat, completely oblivious to the destruction in my own soul and the pain I have caused my Beloved… And God – who has perfect comprehension – experiences the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual pain, because He sees all, hears all, knows all and understands all things…
And, just as we put restrictions in place for our cat’s own protection, so too does God put restrictions in place for me – for my own protection. He gives me medicine in the form of suffering and He locks me into a small room to prevent my physical activity by providing me with Grace in the form of sacrifice. And just as our little cat protested being locked inside the small room and being forced to consume her medication, so too do I protest the loving allowance of suffering and sacrifice that God has permitted for my salvation and the salvation of others…
And seeing this now, I can only tremble with love for my Beloved, for He bears all things for love of me, and all I can do is see my own small misery – and complain…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.