Near

“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.” (John 19:25).

Crucifixion (Kelly Latimore)

When Christ is suffering, where am I?

Where am I when Christ is on the Cross dying for my sins?

Am I sinning some more?  Am I ignoring His pain?  Am I listening to other people and judging them instead of looking inwards at my own sins?

Or, am I following the example of His Blessed Mother, and standing at the Foot of the Cross?

“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” (John 19:25-27).

The Apostles ran away – except for the youngest one, Saint John the Beloved – who stayed close to Christ and watched Him die.

There were no words documented between the Mother and Her Son.  She did not offer words to console Him.  She did not complain about the injustice of the situation.  She did not complain or argue or petition or appeal.  Instead, she stood in silent witness to the suffering of the Son fo Man – her own Son – and she stood while others watched her.

And it is one thing to think of such a suffering as that in theoretical terms.  It is quite another to realise that such suffering is unbearable and human and terrible.  It is quite another to watch the blood drain out of the Child she bore and watch this silently.  That is a terrible thing.  And in silence the Blessed Virgin stood at the Foot of the Cross.

She did not stand there out of a sense of duty.  She did not stand there because she was unable to move away and had no choice.  She did not stand there because she had nothing better to do.  She stood there because she wanted to give witness to the suffering on the Cross.  She stood there because she knew that Christ was dying for our sins – not hers (she was conceived without sin and had remained sinless) – and she wanted to ensure that He did not suffer alone.  She wanted to share – in some way – in the suffering of God.

And I have been thinking about this today as I have been thinking about Christ on the Cross.  For it seems to me that I have spent far too long watching other people suffer instead of suffering myself.  I have spent far too long walking away from the suffering Christ rather than standing beside Him.  I have turned my back on the Cross when instead, Christ is inviting me to share it with Him.

And when I stop and think about that today, I am quite overcome because this means that I truly have not loved my Beloved God.  And that is a terrible terrible sin…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.