Time

For now, I must work – for I have no time to waste…

Christ in the House of His Parents (`The Carpenter's Shop') (John Everett Millais)

I tend to be a very busy person.

Perhaps I am busy because I like being busy?  Perhaps I am busy because I like the feeling of being busy?  Or perhaps I am busy because I am just not very efficient at what I do so things tend to get delayed or take longer because I am busy getting them done?

Whatever the reason, I am certainly very very busy!

I have been thinking about this busyness of mine.  After all, as I get older, it is easy to see that in my life I have not really ever had a time to stop and rest.  When I experienced my conversion, one of the first things that I thought to myself was that perhaps I had followed the wrong vocation, and instead of being a wife and mother, I was actually called to be a Carmelite nun and to offer my life – in seclusion and prayer – to God.  Of course, knowing my personality, this thought quickly departed because I knew that my personality would be particularly unsuitable for such a vocation.  However, in reflecting on that vocation, I did not think about resting.  It did not seem to me that in such a vocation I would be in any way working less.  Rather, I would be working more so that I could – through prayer – achieve the things that I am currently called to achieve through my work.

And what is my work?  Well, I have the work of a wife and mother and daughter and sister and friend.  I have the paid work that I do in my various businesses and through my interactions with all of the stakeholders there – staff and clients and creditors and advisors and many others.  And I have work with all of these various functionalities in my life.

And I have been thinking about that today as I have been thinking of the words of Saint Josemaria, who wrote, “We should never have time on our hands, not even a second.” (“Friends of God”, at 41).

You see, there is an honesty in hard work and using up our strength – whatever it may be – in the service of God.  And there is a sort of prayer in that too. When I give everything that I have living diligently and faithfully in God’s care, then I am placing myself entirely in His Hands to do some good.  And in some way, I can be Christ-like and give up my spirit having given everything – blood and water in His service in all the things that I do…

And THAT – that complete and utter giving without leaving anything in reserve for later – is for me the vocation that I was called to live.  I was not called to live an easy life.  I was not called to rest here on Earth.  Resting is for Heaven.  For now, I must work – for I have no time to waste…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.