• Sarah Raad


Christ waited – in PERFECT surrender – for the Will of His Divine Father.

The Last Supper (Ugolino di Nerio)

A couple of nights ago – late – I heard the dreadful news that all non-urgent surgeries in NSW have been cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

This was difficult news for me to hear as my own non-urgent surgery, which had been scheduled for three weeks-time has now been placed on indefinite hold.

There is good news in this. After all, though I am unwell, my life is not in danger from my condition and therefore, I am one of the lucky ones who can afford to wait for medical treatment. I humbly acknowledge that things could always be worse…

And yet, it was a devastating blow to me to hear such news. After all – though my life may not be in danger – every single aspect of my life is SIGNIFICANTLY impacted by my condition and has been impacted by it for a very very long time. Medication has not been able to help with the symptoms and now it is a long slow wait for restrictions to ease and my treatment to commence and my new life to start – so to speak…

Though people around me – who love me dearly – have continued to tell me “not to worry” about my upcoming surgery, my worry is NOT about the surgery – my worry has always been that I may be DENIED this surgery. For though the surgery is difficult, complicated and the recovery is expected to be very protracted, the surgery is the “medicine” to treat some quite uncomfortable symptoms and it was a welcome hope for me in my life – the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak…

And so, to describe my response to the doctor’s call yesterday where I was officially informed that I shall have to simply wait indefinitely for this hoped-for solution as devastated, is probably a bit of an understatement!

And that is with me acknowledging that I am one of the lucky ones. After all, I have my family and strong support, and things could be a LOT worse than this right now, so I really do not have much cause for complaint…

And while I was having a moment, which many would call a pity-party – processing this most dreaded news for myself – trying to understand how I could possibly develop the patience to wait the unimaginable wait, I suddenly imagined my Beloved.

For Christ was also forced to wait.

And He did not just wait a day or an hour or a week or a month for the peak of a pandemic to pass. He waited – in PERFECT surrender – for the Will of His Divine Father.

That means that when Saint John the Baptist baptised Him in the River Jordon, He was waiting. That means when He performed His first miracle and turned water into wine, He was waiting. That means that when He called His disciples to Him, He was waiting. That means that when He healed the lame and the blind and the deaf and the dumb and the lepers, He was waiting. That means that when He brought Lazarus back from the dead, He was waiting. That means that when He preached and taught, He was waiting. That means that when He laughed with His friends, He was waiting.

And at the end, when they lay palm branches on the ground under the hooves of His donkey and He rode into Jerusalem, and when He asked His disciples to arrange a place for the Passover and when He was breaking bread and offering them wine – His Body and His Blood – He was waiting.

What this really means is that my Beloved was waiting all the years of His Holy Life… And nobody even knew - because He waited JOYFULLY!

What a suffering to have endured! What a terrible terrible burden…

Knowing that He suffered this first – that He waited alone for LOVE of me – gives me hope when it is hard for me to have hope at all.

And when I wonder what I should do to repay Him for that, I take a breath and try to have a little patience.

For who am I to complain, when One such as He endured far worse for one such as I…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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