Adolescent

It seems that every complaint I have about my adolescent children is magnified in my own relationship with my God. 

Have You Seen the Father (Cristobal Almanza)

I have been thinking about power and control.  I am a mother of adolescent children – particularly adolescent sons – and that means that a lot of my time is spent negotiating power and control.

One of the biggest changes that I noticed when my sons became teenagers was that they started to explore what it would feel like to be in control of certain situations.  If I have one dollar for every time I have heard a boy tell me that I cannot control him and he is free to do whatever he wants, then I would truly be a very rich woman.

And I have been thinking a lot about that power and control.  You see, it is easy enough for a parent to say to their teenage child that they can do whatever they please.  But the problem with that is that the child may choose to do nothing at all.  Or worse, they may choose to do harmful things.

And so, the far better alternative, is for the parent to guide the child by directing them towards what is right and creating safe boundaries as spaces where that child can practice all sorts of freedom.  However, the reality is that a parent cannot actually force the child to do anything at all.  If the child chooses not to study, or to be rude, or to engage in harmful activities like drug-taking or drinking alcohol or other harmful things, the parent is really restricted in how to change this behaviour.

In fact, the ONLY real ay to change any of that behaviour is through relationship.  Constant conversation and constant interactions between the parents and their children are what cause the child to adopt some of the ideas promoted by the parents and therefore live in a manner and within the boundaries that the parents find acceptable.

And I have been reflecting on this today as I have been reflecting on the “parenthood” of God the Father over me.  You see, I am an adolescent child for God.  Just as my adolescent children have an incomplete picture of the world and an incomplete understanding of what is in my own best interests.  Things that might feel good to me at the time are actually harmful and it would be better if I did not do those things at all.  And my Eternal Father might be sending me those sorts of messages to tell me that through the things that do or do not work out in my life.  And yet, still I try to rail against him as my children do to me.

And yet, all He is doing is providing me with loving boundaries for me to push against.  And if I were able to understand that those boundaries are the key to my freedom and not the barrier to it, then I would be able to do better in my life.

And it seems to me that the only real barrier in my life from this happening, is my unwillingness to form a relationship with my God.  And I have been thinking about this today – all day – as I have been thinking about my adolescent children.  For it seems that every complaint I have about them is magnified in my own relationship with my God.  My poor, poor – eternally infinitely patient and loving – God…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.