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  • Sarah Raad

Careless

Though my ability to sin is terribly great – God’s ability to forgive is infinitely greater…

Prince of Peace (Tony Vandermissen)

The other day I was having an awful day. Nothing went right. It seemed that every step that I took was wrong and every decision that I made was wrong and every person who I spoke to misunderstood me. Now, I am not a depressed or negative person, but I truly did feel that on that particular day, there was not a lot for me to be optimistic about…

Everything that I did that day, I had done in a careless manner. I was sloppy and careless and I have no excuse for my behaviour that day other than – I was weak…

Now, I am not a very careful human being. I very often gloss over the details and focus instead on the bigger-picture, and by the very nature of this focus, I often make mistakes. But the other day, it was not just one or two mistakes – it was a zillion!


To be honest, by the time my head hit my pillow that night, I was literally at my wit’s end – struggling to sleep and completely unsure of how I had managed to start so many fires in all sorts of places in one single day. And so it was that I found myself lying in bed thinking back about all of the careless, sloppy and stupid things I had ever done in the entire history of my whole life. And if you have ever felt what I was feeling that day, you will easily understand that such a focus is simply going to make you feel just plain miserable.


Because I did not know what else to do and because I needed to talk to a friend, that night, I pulled out my rosary beads and began to pray. Now, I was low that night and I was sad and down. So, the Holy Rosary was too much for me in that moment. Instead, I started with the Divine Mercy – a powerful little spurt of Grace to get the engine running. Then, I could relax into the Holy Rosary, and very soon after that I fell asleep that night.


By some miracle, the next morning in the cool morning pre-dawn light, as I woke up talking to my Beloved, my heart was filled with hope!


And it occurred to me – in that early morning light, just before dawn – that my Beloved must have sent my guardian angel to whisper into my ear while I slept… Because when I woke up that day, I realised something with a deep realisation – with a power deep in my soul…


And what I realised was this… Though my ability to sin is terribly great – God’s ability to forgive is infinitely greater…


And now I have nothing to fear – nothing at all…


How could I ever thank my Prince of Peace for this? How could I?


For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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