Despair

“Woe to you, Chorazin! woe to you, Bethsaida!” (Luke 10:13).

The Fall of the Rebel Angels left hand panel of Haywain Triptych (Hieronymus Bosch)

Gosh it is hard to wait for someone to make the right decision.

Sometime a person will wait a lifetime for some other soul to change their ways or change their mind.  Saint Monica prayer for her wayward son for three decades before he was converted.  And what a conversion it really was!  When he finally did convert, he became not only a Saint but a doctor of the Church – Saint Augustine.

I have been thinking about this today as I have been thinking about my children – most especially one of my sons.  You see, I feel at times that I have spent a lifetime praying for my children.  Sometimes I wonder if I am praying for them correctly.  After all I am a distracted and sinful person and as such I am probably praying all wrong.  I start my prayer and before I get to the end of my thought I am distracted by the weather or the fly buzzing in my ear, or an email.  And I no sooner form an intention to pray then I am overcome with a multitude of distractions.

And sometimes I find myself worried about this.  Does this mean that God will not hear my prayers?

I remember Christ’s words in the Gospel…

“Woe to you, Chorazin! woe to you, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. But it shall be more tolerable in the judgement for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You shall be brought down to Hades.” (Luke 10:13-16).

And those words are so unusual for Christ.  How often did Christ actually say – woe to you?  How often did He actually say, it will go hard for you?  Mostly Christ is saying, do not be afraid.  Mostly He is saying, take it easy and be easy on yourself.  Mostly He is saying, just do not worry.  But here – He is asking me to worry.

And I have been reflecting on that.  You see, we are not to worry about other things, but we are to worry about rejecting God.  And what is the temptation of distraction other than a form of rejection of God?

And there is God waiting for me to finish with the distractions in my mind, and drag my mind back to Him.  And all I am being asked to do is to keep it up – to keep trying.  To bear in my mind the willingness to continue no matter what.

And all God is asking is for me to do just that so that He can work His wonders – not because He is incapable of working wonders if I am distracted, but because if I despair – and fail to persist in my prayers, then I am really failing to choose my Lord – and then – in the words of Christ…  Woe to me…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.