Forgive

“‘Thank you, Lord, for placing my son Alvaro near me, who is so fond of me that he doesn't let me get away with a single thing!’” (Saint Josemaria).

Blessed Don Alvaro (Unknown)

I was talking with someone the other day about performance.  This man was explaining that if someone was behaving in a manner that was not beneficial for them or their group, then that person should be corrected.  He believed – very strongly – that this was the job of a leader.  Leaders must be people who are able to bring out the best in others.  And, in order to bring out that best in others, it is the leader’s role to communicate with the other person to encourage them to make changes that would be beneficial both to themselves and to their community.

I have been reflecting on this opinion as it is one that sounds so simple but is actually very difficult to apply in practice.  You see, we all have so much pride in us.  This pride can cause us to misinterpret people’s words.  We can become completely overwhelmed by the good intentions of others and instead of understanding the good intentions, we can focus instead on how their message may be harming us.

And in that misinterpretation – generally evident through fear – we can completely undo the good that could be done to us.  And in undoing that good we can cause offence and further complicate the matter at hand.

“Jesus said to His disciples, ‘Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, 'I repent,' you must forgive him.’” (Luke 17:1-6).

It is so important to be able to make fraternal corrections of others.  It is important to – in a loving way – show people another perspective of their actions.  It is a type of gift to the other person – an opportunity to make changes that will allow the person to grow.  But most importantly, these things result from a person’s ability to see the world as bigger than themselves.

There is a funny story about Saint Josemaria.  He told a group of ladies about his own experience at being corrected.  “Don Alvaro corrected me today. It was hard to accept it. So much so that I went to the oratory for a moment. Once there, I said, ‘Lord, Alvaro’s right and I'm wrong.’ But after a second, I said, ‘No, Lord, this time I am right. Alvaro doesn't let me get away with a single thing, and that doesn't seem like affection but cruelty.’ And then I said, ‘Thank you, Lord, for placing my son Alvaro near me, who is so fond of me that he doesn't let me get away with a single thing!’”

And that Saint loved Blessed Alvaro.  And loved him more for the demands he made of him.  It occurs to me today, that when we are able to humbly and faithfully offer fraternal corrections of others, we can accept those correction on our own soul also.  And for that, I must be prepared to forgive – not only others, but also my own weak self for needing correction…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.