“The crucifix does not signify defeat or failure. It reveals to us the love that overcomes evil and sin.” (Pope Francis).
The other day, our internet service provider was performing some routine maintenance, and during that time the internet connection in our home was very very slow.
The problem was not in the hardware – the modem was working, the computers were working, the phones and television were working – but it was the internet connection itself that was very poor that day. And this very poor internet connection meant that things just did not work very well at all that day and we had to put up with it so that things would work better in the future. In a way, it was a necessary penance so that we could get better working internet.
And I have been reflecting on that poor internet connection as I reflect on my prayer-life and my relationship with God. And, upon reflection, I have come to realise that there are many things that my prayer-life has in common with that internet connection.
You see, the internet connection is like God’s presence in my life. There are times when I feel very very close to God – not because I am particularly good – but because things seem to be going very well for me at one time or another. It is at these easy times that I feel strongly comforted by my Beloved. It is during those times that it is like having very strong internet connection when things work very well.
But then there are other times. There are times when things seem dreadful. There are mornings where I wake up and one thing after another goes wrong until I reach a stage where I am unable to go on and I think to myself, “Where are You God? Help me! Help me!”
Ironically, it is on those days and at those times – when things appear to me to be most bleak and I feel most alone – that God is undertaking some routine maintenance FOR MY BENEFIT. And just as the disruption to the internet service ultimately benefits me as things work so much better afterwards, so too do those dark times help me… And just as the internet connections will improve following the routine maintenance by the internet service provider, so too does my own relationship with God – who is PERFECT INFINITE LOVE – improve after my Beloved helps me.
You see, God helps me with LOVE… It is often said, after all, that God is never closer to a soul than when it is suffering. Pope Francis said, “The crucifix does not signify defeat or failure. It reveals to us the love that overcomes evil and sin.”
And just as the hardware must continue to work despite the maintenance on the internet, so too must my openness to God continue even when He seems to be far away from me. Because at all times, God is focused on me – entirely and completely. And at all times He is working for my good. And all I need to do is find Him there – “in the midst of the most material things of the earth… He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, … in the immense panorama of work.” (Saint Josemaría, “Passionately Loving the World”, no.113-114).
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.