Knowledge

Although I have not the Grace to give EVERYTHING to my Beloved, I have plenty of Grace to teach my children how to love Him. 

Room of the veiled woman (Catacombs)

I am not a nun or a religious.

I was called to the vocation of wife and mother.  And on top of this I work full time.  This means that I am required to balance the demands of my family with the demands of my work and at the same time I wish to practice in my faith.

When I first experienced my conversion – through Grace and no merit of my own while praying for my little niece who was so sick – one of the first things that I thought was that I had somehow failed God because I had not committed to a lifetime of prayer and solitude in a convent adoring God day and night.  And I knew – even at the time – looking at my family and my responsibilities in this life that such a desire was not from God…

I am sure now that God must have chuckled a little at my foolishness, knowing that I am perhaps the least suited person to personal reflection…

And I have been thinking about this today.  You see, Christ calls us to be cheerfully penitent.  He wants to know that we understand how to pray.  And this knowledge of prayer is perhaps the most important thing in the world.  You see, some chosen souls are called to pray in solitude and silence.  And these are special souls with special graces to perform such a vocation.  But others – like mine – do not get called to solitude.  Rather, we are called to pray in the world that we live in.  We are called to pray amongst our family.  We are called to pray between our friends.  We are called to pray in silence in our own room and cheerfully at the head of the dinner table.

There is a place for us also – us lesser souls…  For though I have not given my entire life to God – I have money and power and children and love in the physical world, which I would not have had if I were a cloistered nun – I must give Him my cheerfulness…

I am not being asked to lead my family in soulless chanting.  Rather, I am being asked to impart my knowledge of prayer to them.  And what is prayer other than a loving conversation with my Beloved…?  Sometimes this takes the form of quiet words uttered aloud in a formula – during the Holy Mass or when we recite the Holy Rosary or Divine Mercy!

And sometimes, it is in silence, sitting before the Blessed Sacrament and listening and waiting for God to allow me to refocus my mind on the matters that are at hand to Him…

And perhaps the most important part of my lesser ministry is the knowledge that in many ways it is not lesser at all, because although I have not the Grace to give EVERYTHING to my Beloved, I have plenty of Grace to teach my children how to love Him.  And that is a blessing that I have not merited in any way…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.