“From that moment on the disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:27).
When I was younger, I felt that it was important to me that I marry.
Of course, I was looking for love and to be loved and the opportunities that would provide to me in marriage, but there were other things that I was interested in as well…
I had a deep desire to become a mother and I knew that marriage was an avenue to achieve that vocation. And I felt that marriage would alleviate some loneliness that I felt during my life at times when I felt alone.
I have come to learn that love is not something that a soul can find in another soul – it is of course found first inside one’s own soul when we learn to love ourselves as our Father in Heaven and the Living Holy Spirit in our soul loves us. I have also come to learn that motherhood can take many forms – and though I have been blessed with being a mother to biological children, I have also been blessed to be a spiritual mother to others, feeling the same deep love and commitment to those spiritual children as I experience with my biological children – though often in a less practical manner…
But the loneliness – now that one is an interesting one for me. You see, there have been times during my marriage when I have been the most lonely I have ever been – even more lonely than when I had been single.
And I have been thinking about that today, you see, I am not the only wife and mother to experience loneliness – the Blessed Virgin must surely also have known this feeling…
When she was only three years old, the Blessed Virgin went to live in the Temple and only a few years later her elderly parents died, which meant that she was an orphan when she was betrothed to Saint Joseph. After her marriage, the Blessed Virgin left everything that she knew and travelled to Egypt with Saint Joseph and her infant Son and lived there for seven years. Now remember that the Blessed Virgin came from a culture where the village raised the children. Her community would have been expected to give advice and help out with child care and cooking and cleaning. Twenty centuries later, my mother in law, who raised her children in a Middle Easter community describes feeding her own children and their cousins from the same spoon as the children were raised as though they were a part of one big family!
After some twenty years of marriage, the Blessed Virgin was again left alone, when her spouse died and her Son left her to commence His earthly mission.
And then she witnessed the death of her Son on the Cross and was left alone again.
Only, this time, the Son of Man asked His mother to become the Mother of the Church – even with His dying breath. And “from that moment on the disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:27).
And I have been thinking about that today, because it seems that I have not made a place for the Blessed Virgin in my home, and I worry that I have made her feel lonely…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.