“…Refuse makes wonderful manure for love to grow…”
I heard a little anecdote the other day and it got me thinking…
There was once a man who had lived a long and unholy life. One day – when he was old and sick and fearing death – the man decided to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And there he sat, listing out his sins, one after the other. All the things that had seemed so easy to do and so unimportant at the time, now weighed so heavily on the man’s soul that he could scarcely breathe…
Finally, after finishing the list of all of his sins, the old man said to the priest, “You see, Father, how much filth and refuse there has been in my life.” The priest responded without even a moment’s pause, and he said, “That is okay. Refuse makes wonderful manure for love to grow…”
And I have been thinking about that story as I have been thinking about Christ’s story about the Tax Collector and the Pharisee…
“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other.” (Luke 18:9-14).
You see, that humility – that being able to recognise my own unworthiness – is actually the pivotal key to being able to be loved by the Father and loving Him in return…
If the focus of my prayer is like that of the Pharisee, then the focus of my love will be likewise… you see the Pharisee prayed to himself. His prayer turned inwards into a list of all of his own achievements. But the prayer of the Tax Collector was something else altogether… The prayer of the Tax Collector was a prayer of mournful contrition. All he could ask for was mercy because he knew there was no excuse for his weakness…
And I have been reflecting on that today as I reflect on my own attitude to sin. For I too have been guilty of praying the prayer of the Pharisee, and forgetting the manure upon which my life is built. And remembering that manure today, I see a great opportunity for love. For here – here and now – I am able to see my Lord and God. And knowing this – knowing the marvel that He is, I am able to know that there is nothing I can do other than ask for His mercy. For I deserve nothing more from Him - He who gave everything for love of me – even His own life…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.