“…Forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us…”
I am married. This means that I have the vocation of Holy Matrimony. This means that I was married in the Catholic Church, where I received the Grace of this Sacrament and made vows in relation to my husband and he made vows in relation to me.
Because we have been married for some time now – almost fifteen years – through God’s Grace, we have had many good and many difficult times in our relationship together. I have often thought to myself that marriage is in fact a sacrament because it takes an infinite amount of Grace for a husband and wife to remain married…
In fact, marriage and family life are – in my opinion – the greatest opportunity to practice Christian Charity that the world could ever know. Where else could a soul be confronted with the complete stubborn unwillingness to change or see reason or negotiate than during a family altercation? Where else in the world would a soul be exposed to others who are completely insensitive to their own feelings and needs than inside a marriage and inside a family? This is NOT to say that inside a marriage this sort of behaviour is constant – this is to say that where souls are very comfortable with each other, they have a level of trust with each other that allows them to show the best (and worst) of their personality and nature, and that this level of trust (being high in marriage) can lead to souls behaving as they otherwise would never dare with anyone else…
Saint Josemaria wrote in Furrow at 745-746, “It is impossible to love God with perfection, and at the same time to let yourself be ruled by selfishness - or by apathy - in your dealings with your neighbour… True friendship also means making a heartfelt effort to understand the convictions of our friends, even though we may never come to share them or accept them.”
And I have been reflecting on that today. Because marriage – the true vocation as God would have it – is not an opportunity for Romantic love and connection. Instead, it is an invitation to practice forgiveness over and over and over again. It is an invitation to accept that flaws of another soul and judge them not… Just as we promise God in the Our Father, “…Forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us…”
And I have been reflecting on that today as I have been reflecting on my choice to forgive my husband and his choice to forgive me. For it seems to me today, that I have been given a great gift in being asked to forgive again and again and again for as long as we both shall live. For that is the action of God Himself. And through this vocation, I can become a little more God-like. And though it is hard – for I am made of thick wood – such a blessing is beyond my comprehension…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.