Prayer

If I cannot thank Him by working, then how ungrateful I must be…

Saint Jacinta After Seeing Hell

I have lots of paraphernalia around my desk.  I have icons and prayer cards and images of the Saints.

My husband laughs at me a little bit.  He thinks that I am in some way focusing on a piece of paper or a piece of painted wood instead of focusing on God, who is the Creator of the Universe.

I am not of course.  My husband is wrong about that.  But I need these little things.  I do not need them because I think that God is somehow contained in a bit of wood or a scrap of paper.  I need them because they help me to remember that God is with me always.

Sometimes, I find myself arguing with someone and thinking uncharitably about them, and then I see the images around my desk – most notably the image of Saint Jacinta of Fatima after she saw the vision of Hell – and I think to myself, what would this child-Saint think of me?  How would she be horrified by my sinfulness?  How could I bear to offend my Lord and God when she was so careful not to offend Him, herself?

In many ways, these physical things allow me to ground myself in my prayers and allow me to focus on the things that merit my attention.  Sometimes, when I am experiencing a problem or complexity at work, I am drawn to these images of the Angels and Saints, and I can converse with them more easily.

Perhaps this is because I lack imagination, and I need some physical thing to connect with for these short prayers?  Or perhaps this is the result of my feeling of isolation from the life to come – where I can feel so disassociated from Heaven, even despite it being so close to me?  Heaven is – after all – just a finger width away from this world.  The Angels and the Saints intervene for us here on Earth and were it not for their intervention then perhaps my God would not have called me so fiercely to Him all those years ago when I experienced my conversion through Grace and no merit of my own?

Saint Josemaria said, “Your work too must become a personal prayer.”  And in that he meant that there are countless opportunities for me to converse with my Beloved throughout my day.  When I am tired, persevering and continuing in my work to the best of my ability means that I can show strength and fortitude through Grace.  I think of my God having pleasure in observing me at work – not because I have done anything significant – but in the same way that I take pleasure in observing my children in trying their best.

And what sanctification there can be found through work.  It is through the work of my mind and body that I am able to offer glory to God.  For every ability I have was given to me by Him.  And if I cannot thank Him by working, then how ungrateful I must be…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.