Risk

She wrote that it was so easy to sin with words, and we thought so little of such sins and yet each sin needed to be accounted for.

Christ Crucified (Unknown)

I do not like taking risks.  Risks make me feel very uncomfortable.  I have always been a cautious sort of person who like to make a decision after I have considered every single option and only then make a decision to step forward.

I have been thinking about that a lot over the last few days.  You see, I consider many things before moving ahead.  First, I consider whether something could cause harm in the present.  Then, I consider whether something could cause harm in the future.  I wonder about the past problems and the future issues.  I try to nut everything out so that I have no chance of getting something wrong or missing an important issue.

Sometimes this slows me down.  Sometimes this means that I miss out on opportunities that are very beautiful opportunities.  Other times this means that I do not even see the opportunity in front of my face.  Caution means that there is less risk but also less reward.

I might have a surgery but before I do, I will investigate various doctors.  I will consider their accreditation and experience.  I will ask many questions and try to do my best to make sure that when I entrust myself to their hands that I am entrusting myself in a very strong and powerful manner with the minimal level of risk.  And even so, there may be occasions where surgeries do not go according to plan.  There may be times when it is very difficult for me to actually assess a risk.  I might think that one thing is risky, but in fact it might be something else.  And instead of watching out for the one thing I will be watching out for the other…

I have been thinking about that today as I have been thinking about where the real risks are.  You see, I have no problem spending my time and efforts considering the risks associated with this Earthly life.  But I wonder whether I really consider the risks to the Heavenly one?  After all, I would not throw myself off a cliff in this world, but I seem to have no hesitation in tossing myself straight into he jaws of Hell through my actions.  And what is more, I do not even recognise how terribly frightening my actions really are.  Saint Faustina wrote in her Diary that souls should beware of the account they would have to make of their own tongue.  She wrote that it was so easy to sin with words, and we thought so little of such sins and yet each sin needed to be accounted for.

And I have been thinking about this today, as I have been thinking about risks.  For it seems that I have been focused on the wrong risks and have completely misunderstood the real risks in my life.  And it is only through Grace that I have any chance of being able to see where I should really be focused.  Only through Grace…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.