Self

It is a little too much about myself.

Christ Bridegroom (Icon)

I have been reflecting on something that someone said to me the other day…

They told me that I always make everything about myself.

Now, I know for a fact that this is not true.  I equally know that I am sufficiently sensitive enough to take more to heart than I should and cause myself to take offence over small things that should not be of concern to me.  And yet, I have been thinking about that comment.  You see, it seems to me that every time I become upset and insulted about something, it is because I have taken it upon myself to reflect on it in a way that makes it all about me.

You see, although I do not agree that everything is about me, I do see that even if only a little is about me – it is a little too much about myself.

Saint Therese of Lisieux was a very sensitive child.  In her autobiography, “Story of a Soul” she recounts instances during her childhood where she cried inconsolably because of some offence that caused her terrible distress.  She also recounted that she recalls the time when she decided that for love of Christ that she would stop that and would not be distressed like that ever again.  And so it was that as she grew older, she simply decided that she would not cry about everything anymore.

I have been thinking about that today, because in a way, when that person said to me that I make everything about myself, they had a point…  You see, there is no insult that should offend me because Christ bore every insult for love of me.  He literally and physically showed me how to bear an insult – silently and on the Cross.  He offered the insults thrown at Him – not for His own self-offence – but for my salvation.  For me…

And He did not cry or carry on.  He did not complain and say that everything was unfair.  He did not try to rally support or speak to anyone.  Instead, He suffered silently on the Cross and He prayed.  And He did it emptying out Himself on the Cross so that He could cleanse me of my sins.  It was my insult that He bore.  It was my offence.

And I have been thinking about that today as I have been taking offence at the words of others.  And it seems to me that I have missed the whole point of my Faith.  For I have spent a lifetime making everything about me, when really all God wants is for me to give up my SELF to Him so that He can cleanse me of my sins.  And instead of doing that I hold on tightly to my offence and my anger and I ignore that One who suffered and died for me.  How terrible.  How truly terrible…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.