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“Lord, here I am in my wretchedness and frailty, a broken vessel of clay. Bind me together again, Lord, and then, helped by my sorrow and by your forgiveness, I shall be stronger and more attractive than before!” (Saint Josemaria, “Friends of God”, at 94-95).

Holy Family (Unknown)

What a difficult year 2025 was for me and my family!

We lost a dear (and very young) brother-in-law (may his soul rest in peace).  I had several unexpected surgeries and spent a significant a significant part of the year recovering from those, though I thank God it was nothing more serious.  And, some people who are very dear to me hurt my feelings dreadfully and broke my heart, though of course all things are forgiven and time heals all wounds…

All in all, it was a very difficult year for me – though I gratefully acknowledge and it was certainly a much better year than other people might have experienced and the things that happened in my life were certainly much less problematic than the things that other people experienced.

And I have been thinking about this over the last few days.  You see, although I have a tendency to complain an awful lot and consider myself a victim of terrible wrong-doing, it seems that perhaps I have failed to see the ultimate message that God has provided for me in all of these woes…

Saint Josemaria wrote in “Furrow” at 268, “If you are convinced of your ‘poor quality’ - if you know yourself - you will react to events supernaturally. Joy and peace will take a firmer root in your soul, in the face of humiliations, being despised, calumnies ... If these cases, after saying fiat - Lord, whatever you want - you should think: ‘Is that all he said? He obviously does not know me, otherwise he wouldn't have left it at that.’  Being convinced that you deserve worse treatment, you will feel grateful to that person, and rejoice at what might have made somebody else suffer.”

And it occurs to me today – as I reflect on the attitude that I should be having in this new year – that all those things that I considered injustice to me were in fact nothing in light of the perfect justice that I deserve…  You see, I am a sinful soul.  And the true punishment – in perfect justice – for even one of my sins, is eternal damnation.  That means that if God were to give me what I deserve I would not simply have my feelings hurt by a dear one, I would instead have my soul die eternally and suffer eternally in the burning pit that is hell – completely and utterly isolated and lost to God and without hope!  Instead, God simply allowed a few inconvenient things to happen – even the death of a dear loved one is a mere inconvenience when considered in the eternal timeline (we are born – after all – so that we may love God and die to be with Him forever in Heaven) – so that I would have something upon which to reflect on and to use to make a sacrifice to Him…

And so, as I begin a new year today, and as I am faced with all my weaknesses and sins, I pray to God using the words of the Saints…  “Lord, here I am in my wretchedness and frailty, a broken vessel of clay. Bind me together again, Lord, and then, helped by my sorrow and by your forgiveness, I shall be stronger and more attractive than before!” (Saint Josemaria, “Friends of God”, at 94-95).

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.