Struggle

The real struggle of my life is to master myself and conquer my own free will to allow me to submit to the Holy Will of God!

The Temptation of Eve (Tomasz Kuran)

There are times when we hear – in the Gospel – that there is struggle.  Christ warns us that people will suffer on this earth in order to achieve Heaven.  He tells us that it is only through suffering and even torment to death.

“‘Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has risen no one greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and men of violence take it by force.’” (Matthew 11:11-15).

It is not natural for me to be holy.  While this was God’s original plan for all of humanity, clearly, the effects of Original Sin are very great in my soul and this makes it very difficult for me to focus my energies on God and holiness and sanctification.  Instead, I find myself spending time wasting time and looking for excuses for my misdemeanours.  And part of this is due to the spiritual warfare to which I am subjected – often without even realising… 

You see the enemy fights hard and he fights well.  He has an advantage that I could never have.  He is a more perfectly formed soul.  You see, the angels are made at a higher level than we mere mortals and as such they have more will power, more endurance and more intelligence and understanding than I could ever have.  Now, it is true that the Evil One is using all of this additional power for evil and not for good, and it is also true that he is using that power in such a way as to deceive me – as he deceived Eve.

However, I have a weapon that the Evil One does not have.  I have God Himself on my side.  God Himself is my champion.  And when I can bring myself to rely on God then that is when I have some chance of overcoming my own sinfulness.

And I have been reflecting on that today.  Because part of the battle needs to be won simply by understanding the enemy.  And knowing that the enemy is lazy and deceitful and determined helps me to understand everything.  You see, the enemy is stronger than I am – and I can never win against him – but I am not asked to fight against him on my own.  This is why God constantly asks me to trust in Him and obey His Holy Will.  It is God’s own WILL that will protect me against the ways of evil.  If I simply submit to the Holy Will of God with obedience and without resistance, then that is when I can be safe.  Of my own merit, nothing can be done.  It is God and God alone who is able to protect me.  And He does this through the intervention of His Angels and His Saints.

And when I think about the generosity of God Himself in allowing me such a wealth of weaponry against evil, it occurs to me that the struggle is surely more internal and external.  The real struggle of my life is not to master the Evil One – I have no chance of doing this anyway.  The real struggle of my life is to master myself and conquer my own free will to allow me to submit to the Holy Will of God!

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.