“Come to Me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
It had been a very long day. And before that, it had been a very long week. And I was tired.
I was possibly more tired than I had ever been – not just physically tired, but emotionally and spiritually tired as well.
And when a person is tired everything feels very overwhelming to them. They feel as though even the smallest thing in the world is too difficult to handle. And I had felt the same thing, myself, when I had been feeling so tired.
And that meant I was a little less charitable with people around me. It meant that I put in a little less effort than I generally would do. It meant that I did not try as hard to do my very best at everything I laid my hand to for a day or so.
And I have been thinking about that today.
Because that tiredness is such a distraction from the true work of my life. And the true work of my life is to attain salvation for myself and through sacrifice and offerings, for the souls of others…
And although I had a day or two of feeling tired in relation to the responsibilities of my earthly life, I have experienced great fatigue in relation to my spiritual life for many many years – and even perhaps, for the whole of my life.
And I have been thinking about that today, because I have been thinking about how difficult it is to refocus my attention once I am tired.
And that is a terrible thing. You see, that tiredness – that spiritual tiredness – is such a distraction in my life and causes me such a host of problems. When I feel that spiritual tiredness, I say one prayer less. When I feel that spiritual tiredness, I try to hold my temper just a little less. When I feel that spiritual tiredness, I do not challenge myself to resist temptation.
And that is such a problem. You see, the Evil One is a spirit, and an angel. And angels are a higher life-form than humans. And what that really means is that as an angel he will always be stronger and less tired than me. In fact, the Evil One is never tired. He never needs to take a break or rest. While I am sleeping in the night, he is using his superior intelligence to come up with even more interesting ways to cast me into moments of temptation to sin.
And so, as I have been reflecting on my tiredness, and my relative weakness in the face of such (evil) strength, it occurs to me that there is a good reason why my Beloved said the words, “Come to Me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). For He is strong where I am weak. And I can rest in Him when I am tired, and He will make all things Good.
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.