Wanted

How gentle is my God who sends me things – even when they are not wanted – because I need them!

Jesus Christ from Jerusalem (Said Elatab)

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, it was a terrible time in the world.  No matter one’s thoughts about lockdowns and economic policy, one thing remained and that was that such a change in the world was something that we were unused to – particularly in the West – and that such a change was terribly uncomfortable.

Very few people recall that period of time as something pleasant.  Most people speak of feeling afraid, restricted and isolated.  Though some people – mostly introverts – thought it was great to have the office to themselves or enjoyed taking a break from the normal family catchups and associated politics, most people recall that time sadly.

I have been reflecting on that time over the last few days because I was one of the people who was terrible terribly sad during that time.  I experienced terrible isolation and the work that I was doing was significantly impacted by the government-imposed restrictions placed upon us, which meant that even today the work that I do is very different from that work that I was doing prior to the pandemic.  In addition, I required some very extensive surgery during the period of lockdowns and due to the various government restrictions that surgery was significantly delayed, which seriously impacted my quality of life for some months.

Now, I could argue back and forth about the correct course of action that governments should have taken during that time, but I would rather focus on what I have learned about God through this experience…

I have been reflecting on how little I welcomed or wanted those changes at the time.  They were awful.  And yet, out of that terrible time, there was some good.  The work that I had been doing changed completely.  And yes, it was an uncomfortable time for me as I needed to move in a different direction, but it was also a wonderful time.  During this time I have learned to lean a little more heavily on my Beloved.  Without the unwanted bumps in the road, I was in danger of trying to do it alone.  Without the restrictions placed upon me I was in danger of failing to see the joys of my life.

Those unwanted experiences have now become a blessing to me.  And sometimes a blessing bears down on the soul.  We feel the Hand of God on us, and it is not a comfortable sensation.  And that is something to consider.  You see, we crave comfort in life.  We want everything to come easily to us.  I want to eat piles of  junk food and never exercise, and simultaneously be fit and toned and healthy.  It is the same with the soul.  I want to become a Saint but I do not want to do anything required to cast off all my weak and sinful ways.  I want to walk the Road to calvary carrying a cross as light as a feather.

And God can see that, and He has pity on me.  So He sometimes sends me things that make me feel uncomfortable.  Just so that I can rely on Him a little more.

How gentle is my God who sends me things – even when they are not wanted – because I need them!

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.