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  • Sarah Raad

Weakness

God is the Prince of Peace and He will give us rest!

The Disputation of the Sacrament (Disputa) (Raphael)

Today, during Mass I was distracted, and it was very difficult for me to focus.


The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people around me all imposed on my awareness and before I knew it I was terribly distracted – to the point of no return.


During the entire 25 minutes of Mass, I would be bragging if I said that I concentrated on the Blessed Sacrament for a total of 5 minutes today.


I did my best!


My best was pretty dismal...


But I did my best!


Later, as my day progressed, I got to thinking about this weakness in me.


Why am I so weak?


I love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind, though perhaps Love is the wrong word… I ADORE Him – with everything that I am.


I am dreadfully aware of my weaknesses and my sin and I am more sorrowful for this than words could ever say.


My greatest desire is for me – and all of you – to spend eternity with God – ADORING Him ad infinitum!


And yet, despite all of this, when I am confronted with the divinity of God – His very presence Hidden in the Eucharist – still I am distracted.


What is wrong with me?


Scott Hahn in his book “Hope to Die” expresses something very profound that helped me in understanding this weakness in me… “Original sin is not a thing we do; it’s a thing we lack. It’s human nature deprived of divine life. And every human that was ever born has inherited that deprived nature from our first parents. We’re born physically alive, but spiritually dead.”


This paradox is interesting to me.


When we are born – we are dead.


When we die – we are re-born.

Through birth there is death and through death there is life!

We humans are so weak in our human nature that we require all Three Persons of the Most Holy Trinity to give us life.


God the Father is the Creator. He created us. It is through His infinitely loving act of CREATION that we even exist at all. Without His desire to CREATE us for love of us not only would there be no world in which to live, but there would be no humans to populate it for the spiritual soul that He made for us would not exist.


God the Son is the Redeemer. He saved us. It is through His infinitely loving act of SALVATION, through His Life, Death and Resurrection, that we even can merit eternal life. Without His desire to atone for OUR SINS for love of us we would be dead for all eternity – damned forever.


God the Holy Spirit is the Life-Giver. He gives us spiritual life. It is through His infinitely loving act of BAPTISM that we are born again in CHRIST. Without His desire to make us into TEMPLES of His Holy Spirit for love of us we could never be redeemed.


So today, though I feel the very weakness of my soul and the weight of all my humanity bearing down upon me as a reminder of my little dead soul – which has been restored for me by my INFINITELY loving God – though I strive to do better, I am not afraid.


In the words of Saint Therese of Lisieux in her biographical “Story of a Soul”, “Why be afraid that you will not have the strength to carry this cross without a struggle? On the way to Calvary, Jesus did indeed fall three times...”


That is the reason that He is the Prince of Peace.


For by His suffering, He will give us rest!


Thank God! Thank God! Thank God! Really, thank God for that!


For with prayer everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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