Now

My Beloved loves me so much that He re-writes the ending of my life based on the choices that I am making NOW, just so that I can have the BEST possible scenario for me and so that everything can be GOOD!

Refugees of the Sacred Family (Kelly Latimore)

My gosh, but there are things that I want and I want them now.

When I was a little girl, I really enjoyed reading these books that were quite popular with pre-teens and early-teenagers called “Choose your own Adventure” books.  These books were written in such a way that they allowed me to read through one scenario and then – later as I was reading the book – change the ending to one that pleased me.  I could – by choosing which direction a character would travel in – change the course of the story.  I could read that version all the way to the end, and then go back to that fateful decision and re-read the whole thing and choose a different ending instead.  The way that I chose the endings was to follow instructions about which page to flick to in the book.  Sometimes, if the choice I made was leading to a plot twist that I was unhappy with, I would go back and make the alternative choice to see if that could result in a more palatable plot twist for me.

I found these books very enjoyable for a while because it felt as though I was able to literally control the narrative of those books.  And having that feeling of control was very encouraging for me during that time…

Sometimes, I wish that I could do that with my own life.  I wish that I could start the narrative in one way and then move to another way of thinking so that I would be able to get a different result.  Obviously, life does not work like this.  If I get halfway through a situation that I have caused by my own choices, I can rarely have the opportunity to revisit and change everything and continue on.  Sometimes the “ship has sailed” so to speak, and I cannot go back and do things differently.  Relationships form and breakdown or flourish, accidents happen or are prevented, work opportunities come, or they pass us by.  All of these things cannot be undone.

This is not to say that we cannot make improvements in our lives so that we can fix things that are struggles for us.  Rather, it is to say that when we are left to our own devices, we generally can only be trusted to make the best possible choice under the circumstances.  Conversely, God has the full plan.  God knows everything.  God knows who every possible scenario will turn out.  And in knowing this God is able to move things around in a way that results in the best possible outcome for me – whether I feel that it is the best or not.  When I feel that my life is out of control and going terribly, still this is a season to pass through as God is using this for my GOOD.  

And coming to that realisation and knowing this – in the depths of my soul – I am quite overcome.  Because my Beloved loves me so much that He re-writes the ending of my life based on the choices that I am making NOW, just so that I can have the BEST possible scenario for me and so that everything can be GOOD!

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.