I never ask God to tell me what He is suffering.
The other day I was speaking to a man who told me that he does not have a good marriage.
In the conversation he – sadly – listed out all the issues that he had with his wife. He considered her a bad wife because she did not wash his clothes promptly. He considered her a bad wife because she did not take their child to sporting activities (their child was one year old). And he considered her a bad wife because she did not visit his mother.
I listened quietly as the man spoke and all the while I was thinking to myself what a terribly sad thing all this anger was…
This family are suffering because one human being wishes to subjugate another human being. This family are suffering because one person or another thinks that things should be done THEIR way and not a different way. And I was reflecting on this very very sad – and very very common – thing.
How un-God-like we really are! God – who can control everything and knows everything and is perfect at everything and has no need of us for anything – never controls us. He never forces our hand. And when we do things our way instead of His way – even if it is bad for us – He does not make the sky fall down or the earth swallow us up. Instead, He watches us and quietly cries in the silence of His heart.
And as I was listening to that man “vent” so to speak, it occurred to me that God does not “vent” to anyone. Now – of course – God does not need to vent. He does not need to cry. God is all-perfect and unchanging, but still – surely He is hurt (terribly hurt) by my anger and sin. And it occurs to me that people like me are so caught up in feeling out own pain that we cannot even give God Himself enough time to check in with Him and “allow” Him to vent to us.
I never ask God to tell me what He is suffering. I never give Him a moment. I am a spoiled child who is too carefully fixated on all that is happening to me to give God even a moment of my time. I am too busy screaming and yelling my own problems to Him in the silence of my own heart to give Him an instant to ask Him who is hurting His heart.
And it occurs to me today how selfish that really is. Because – just as that man I spoke to the other day was too busy being angry with his wife to ask her what was troubling her – I too am too busy being angry with God to ask Him what is troubling Him.
And it occurs to me today that this is a terrible terrible thing…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.