Battles

The absence of God is a complete and utter darkness and despair that cannot even be imagined.

Last Judgement (Fresco by Giotto di Bondone)

Sometimes it can be very overwhelming to be the mother of children.

I am not saying this to ascribe to that old platitude that being a mother is the hardest job in the world.  I know this was made popular through the work of daytime talk show hosts in the 1990s, like Oprah Winfrey and many others, but I do not subscribe to this belief.  Being a mother is not the hardest job in the world – after all there are far far harder jobs in the world.  Imagine being an engineer, or an astronaut, or a surgeon of any kind, or even a missionary in a hostile place.  All of these jobs seem far harder to me than the job of being a mother.  But what I believe is far harder in parenthood that is often overlooked in other jobs is the thanklessness of the job of the parent.

After all, if a good mother does her job well, her children will not even truly realise what they need to thank her for.  If they are fed every day and provided with clean clothes and shoes and bedding and if they are taken to whatever they need to be taken to, how could a child ever realise that they have received something of great value.  You see, the most valuable gift is the gift that is so intrinsic to the person’s life that they could not imagine their life without that gift.

And I have been thinking about this today as I have been thinking about my own role as a mother and God’s role as my eternal and infinite parent…

Saint Jacinta of Fatima was granted a vision by the Blessed Virgin of Hell (with her brother Saint Francesco of Fatima and her cousin Saint Lucia of Fatima).  After seeing what Hell really is, the Saint – at the tender age of eight years old – was transformed.  She took sin incredibly seriously.  Before her brother died at the age of ten, he called her and their cousin to his bedside and begged them to help him to recall all sins so that he could complete a perfect confession without forgetting to confess a single sin.

He did not want to die and go to Hell when he died, and he did not ant to give offence to God!

And I have been thinking about that today.  You see, Hell is not just a place – it is the ABSENCE of God.  And that means more than what you might think here on Earth.  Here, because we do not see God with our physical eyes, we assume God is absent.  But this is NOT what the absence of God really is.  The absence of God is a complete and utter darkness and despair that cannot even be imagined, because just as I am so present for my children they do not even understand what they should be grateful for because I am so intrinsic to their lives that they could not imagine how it must feel to have me absent from it.

And I have been thinking about that today, because it seems that the ultimate battle will be the battle that I have between me and my own complacency.  And that is the battle that I must win – through GRACE – if I wish to be saved…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.