Today I pray the prayer of a child in tantrum, and I pray for the Grace to understand how to take my deep breaths to calm down, through prayer – always through prayer…
My children – like every little child need to learn to regulate their emotions.
When a child is very young they will experience a feeling and INSTANTLY want to express that feeling. This is part of what has helped the human being to survive tens of thousands of years. For example, a baby is hungry so it will express its discomfort and its feeling of hunger by crying and continuing to cry until its mother feeds it. And if the baby is sick or tired or colicky or in any other way uncomfortable, the baby will express its discomfort by crying until its mother attends to its needs.
And for a baby, who cannot speak or express itself in words, this is a very effective form of communication. I remember spending many a long day and night with a crying child, trying all sorts of different things to settle them, and not really knowing which thing they really wanted. And with time and experience (and getting to know each baby) the time that it took to understand the needs of the child grew smaller.
But as the child grows it starts to use words to express itself as well as crying. And that means that if a toddler is hungry it might cry or throw and tantrum and also make demands with words for food. And if the child is not taught to regulate their emotions as they grow older they will become a menace to society because they will not understand how to feel uncomfortable emotions and at the same time express that discomfort and accept that though nothing may change they shall be able to go on.
And I have been thinking about this today because when I was taught to regulate emotions as a young child, I was told to take deep breaths. And I use the same technique with my own children today. And taking the time to stop and take those breaths despite the present discomfort is critical to the success of the child in regulating their emotions.
And while I have been thinking of that I have been seeing the similarities between those deep breaths of a child to calm down and the moments of prayer that we preserve in despite trials and suffering.
You see, the prayer – at the time of trouble – can feel so difficult. It can feel as frustrating as asking an emotional child to settle down and take some deep breaths. And while this can be annoying in the moment – those deep breaths (just like those prayers) are the only thing that can allow the human being to regulate and have some sense of safety and stability.
And today, as I reflect on every single time in my life when things have been difficult, I cannot remember a time that was made worse by prayer. And I know that despite my frustrations at the time, all those times were actually made better by the prayers!
So, today I pray the prayer of a child in tantrum, and I pray for the Grace to understand how to take my deep breaths to calm down, through prayer – always through prayer…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.