And what humility it takes to receive such a correction.And what patience and understanding it takes to deliver it…
I have been married – through the Grace of God – for nearly fourteen years. And some days this feels like a really really really long time to have remained married. Other days it feels like my husband and I just met each other. But every day it feels like a miracle – and I am not being dramatic – that we remain married to this day.
You see, without any disrespect to my husband, marriage is very hard work. It is a commitment to compromise eternally and to put another human soul (and more than one if there are children born of the marriage or elderly parents, or siblings to consider as well) before yourself. In this way, marriage can be a very holy vocation. This is because marriage is the ultimate sacrifice. It is the expressed desire and vow to tend to the sick and the lonely, to clothe those without clothes, and the list goes on.
But there is another very important part of marriage that is perhaps for me – one pf the most difficult parts. And that part is the part of marriage called “fraternal correction”. Fraternal correction is literally translated to mean the correction of a brother who is mistaken. This is an important concept in the Catholic Church and it relates to the practice of identifying sin in others and calling that sin out to them to allow them an opportunity to reflect on the sin and to change their sinful ways.
Now, this is a very tricky area, because I am more sinful than most. And that means that I either receive a lot of fraternal correction or when I provide it to others, I am in danger of being a hypocrite – by calling out faults in others that are greater than my own fault.
When fraternal correction is made, it is important to first seek the beam in one’s own eye before looking at the splinter in the eye of my brother (or husband or wife)… And in the relationship of marriage, there is enough intimacy that the couple should be able to have frank and meaningful conversations about their own and their partner’s faults. And this means something… This is because without those conversations, individuals are unable to improve. Sometimes, an individual might not even realise that they are doing something that is sinful or hurtful to another unless they have been called out for it and made aware of it. And this is important because the individual is only able to correct a thing if they can first understand how it is broken.
And what humility it takes to receive such a correction. And what patience and understanding it takes to deliver it…
And I have been thinking about that today, as I look at my husband. For it seems that marriage could be a road to Paradise with a little humility and patience and a lot of correction…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.