Funeral

“Your tears were collected by the angels and were placed in a golden chalice, and you will find them when you present yourself before God”… (Saint Padre Pio).

Good Samaritan (Olga Bakhina)

My sister’s husband died just over a year ago (may God rest his soul).  He had been very sick for a very long time and finally – at a very young age and leaving behind a very young family and very young parents – he died.

The funeral was a very sad and overwhelming time for the entire family – but especially for my sister and her children.

It was a long and difficult day and I know that those children will probably carry the wounds and memories of that day for a long long time to come – perhaps for all their lives.

That family carry a terrible cross and I pray very much for them to have faith and strength to bear such a loss as that.

But that is not the only loss.  I know a young mother whose child was recently born prematurely and he died soon afterwards.  For a tiny little baby like that there was only a tiny little funeral.

I know another mother who had a series of miscarriages and no surviving baby.  There is no funeral for that woman despite the severity of her loss.

I know a man whose wife chose to leave him and their children after having an affair with another man.  They are grieving as a family and navigating a future that they did not plan and there is no funeral for them to grieve.

There are wives whose husbands are very difficult and cruel and husbands whose wives are difficult.  There are children who deal in drugs and alcohol and prostitution and there are families torn apart by the worry and grief of those souls.

There are women pressured into abortion – or those who commit the act willingly without realising the emotional and psychological cost it will have on the remainder of their lives.  There are children abused and neglected and nobody ever realises and they live mediocre lives without ever understanding that there could be anything better than what they are experiencing…

And I have been thinking about all these – and the millions more – examples of grief that we human beings encounter.  I have been reflecting on the terrible sadness that exists in the world – the sadness that we might never see, because the person did not have a grief with the luxury of a funeral – and I have come to realise that perhaps our purpose in the world is to somehow make those who attend funerals, and those who do not have the luxury of a funeral, to feel somehow less alone.

And the only way I can think to make this happen, is to help people to have hope.  For with hope, we can understand that the funeral is not the end of the story and the grief is not permanent.  And – to use the words of Saint Padre Pio – “Your tears were collected by the angels and were placed in a golden chalice, and you will find them when you present yourself before God”…

After all, did not Christ tell us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:9).

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.