Gloomy

“By accepting the sufferings ‘offered’ by life and allowed by God for our progress and purification, we spare ourselves much harder ones.” (Father Jacques Philippe, “Interior Freedom” at page 49).

Saint Therese of Lisieux

I have been reflecting on the experience of suffering.

Suffering comes to us in all sorts of forms.  My father – for example – gets really frustrated when the dog gets into the house.  It is one of those things that really gets under his skin and irritates him.  And that little dog manages to sneak into the house at every possible turn.  And every time that dog creeps inside and needs to be chased out, my father is irritated a little bit.  It is a little thing but a frustrating one.  My husband is similarly frustrated when he hears my children practicing the piano.  The sound of the failed attempts at music grate on his nerves and he finds it difficult to listen when there is that dull background noise in the house.  And the more he tries to tolerate the sound the more irksome it becomes for him.  I too am irritated by the little things.  Repeating myself over and again is possibly the most frustrating thing in the world to me – especially when it involves my children, who have heard these instructions over and again in their lifetime.

Generally, when these frustrating things happen in my day, I can become very gloomy.  And that gloominess becomes a sort of pessimism where I am left feeling like a victim of circumstances.  And I have been thinking about that today.  You see, when Saint John Vianney experienced these small frustrations (a fly on his skin, for example, was a real example from his life), he deliberately leaned into them.  He saw these as an opportunity to offer another sacrifice to God to atone for sin.  When Saint Therese of Lisieux experienced little frustrations (a sister in the convent who was particularly irritating in the way she chewed, for example) she leaned into it and deliberately placed herself in the space to encounter this small frustration so that she would be able to offer it as a sacrifice for sinners.

Father Jacques Philippe wrote in “Interior Freedom” at page 49, “By accepting the sufferings ‘offered’ by life and allowed by God for our progress and purification, we spare ourselves much harder ones. We need to develop this kind of realism and, once and for all, stop dreaming of a life without suffering or conflict. That is the life of heaven, not earth. We must take up our cross and follow Christ courageously every day; the bitterness of that cross will sooner or later be transformed into sweetness.”

And today, as I reflect on all these small, offered sufferings in my life, it occurs to me that I am more blessed than I can know.  For my God has provided me with the tools to become a Saint.  And all I need to do is simply pick them up and stop my complaining and my gloominess.  And today, I pray for the Grace to do just that…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.