Humility

“…the reward is great. We see God.” (Mother Mary Francis, “Blessed Are You: Reflections on the Beatitudes” at page 103).

Judgement of Christ (Isaak Asknaziy)

It is very difficult to admit that I am wrong.  Perhaps it is difficult for most people to admit that they are wrong.

I do not like the feeling of telling another person that I have made a mistake or that I am wrong or that I could have done something better.  And yet, as a human being – as a very flawed human being, who is very often wrong – it is my DUTY and unfortunately my responsibility to do this very often.

I have been reflecting on this feeling.  When I was a little girl, my mother taught me to apologise.  It was something that she really seemed to focus on.  It was not enough to say sorry, I needed to firstly think about what I had done wrong and then apologise with contrition and humility and promise to try again better next time.  I remember being a very young child and struggling with this concept very much.  I did not – after all – relish the idea of having to apologise for my bad behaviour.  After all, I reasoned to myself inside my very young mind, I certainly had a good excuse for doing the things that I had done.  My sister was mean to me, or my father refused to allow me to eat that chocolate, or my mother wanted me to clean up my mess when I would much rather watch television.  And so, I was reluctant to apologise contritely for what I had done.

I have been thinking about how important this early formation was for me.  By teaching my to apologise without excuse my mother really taught me that no matter what happened, I must be responsible for my own bad behaviour.

And I reflect on Christ Crucified.  Nothing that happened to Him was fair.  He was belittled, abused, wrongly accused, tortured and actually killed (unjustly).  And not once was His behaviour anything other than perfect.  He did not use this injustice as an excuse to lash out or rage against His tormentors.  Even when abused by the others being crucified, He forgave and welcomed the good thief into the Kingdom of Heaven.

And I have been thinking about that today because I recently read a little about redemption and humility by Mother Mary Francis, “Blessed Are You: Reflections on the Beatitudes” at page 103, where she said, “The (prodigal son), truthful, humbled, educable, was immediately cleansed. Eve, less candid and only humiliated, needed long penancing to become clean of heart. No doubt most of us line up alternately with the contrite wanton son and the self-excusing Eve. For them, to be given the first robe of restored innocence or to be made mother of the human race, it was necessary to be cleansed and to see God. The unworldliness of the clean of heart is not lightly achieved. That bears repeating. The educability and truthfulness that make freedom and lightness of heart possible are never effortless. But the reward is great. We see God.”

And I have been thinking about that today as I reflect on my life.  For it seems to me that a little humility would rid me of this sin.  Just a little humility…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.