I am making the biggest mistakes of my life without even thinking about it.
The other day I made a mistake. It was not the end of the world, but it was a mistake at work, and it was dreadful.
Not only did I realise what had gone wrong, but then I needed to work out how to fix the problem and communicate with the client and do some damage control.
Now, at the end of the day the mistake is a distant memory for the people involved (although I must admit that I still cringe when I remember the mistake).
But I have been thinking about that mistake today because when it happened it was dreadful. I had a physical reaction to the mistake. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach. I felt nervous and stressed. I did not want to make the necessary phone calls to deal with the problem. I did not want to address it. Instead, I wanted to put my head in the sand and pretend that my day had never happened at all.
And as a mature and responsible person, I did not do that at all. Instead, I made the necessary calls and dealt with the necessary issues. And in the end, the problem was resolved – with a bit of a clunk and no real harm done…
But I was thinking about that today. You see, what happened to me the other day is that I made a very small error – in the scheme of things. I made a very small and temporary error that did not affect the state of the Nation and certainly did not affect my spiritual soul. And even so – even with all triviality of the situation, I still had a physical reaction to it. I still felt sick about it and nervous about it and still bothers me that it even happened at all.
Now – the focus of my thoughts today are my sins. Every single sin – from the smallest failing (that I have forgotten about) to the worst of my mortal sins – is a mistake. I was created to know love and serve God and be with Him forever in Heaven. And so, when I sin, it is a mistake – even when I sin intentionally. And the reason it is a mistake is because I was not created for that. I was created for something MORE than this…
And yet – there I am making mistakes left right and centre – sinning away, and completely oblivious to anything. No sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. No feeling of nervousness. No stress. No shame or delay in trying to make a phone call to rectify the problem.
And there I am – making the mistake of my lifetime. Making the mistake of my immortal soul. And doing it blithely. And doing it without any thought at all about the magnitude of my mistakes. There I am damning my immortal soul to hell without ever a care in the world… And making the biggest mistakes of my life without even thinking about it.
And today – the day after the Lord of the Universe rose from the dead, I find myself stopping to think about that!
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.