“Be still!” (Mark 4:39).
The other day I was terribly terribly scared. I was not scared for my life or scared for my health. I was not scared that my children would be unsafe or that my husband would become unwell. Instead, I was terribly terribly scared of my own inferiority and weaknesses.
And as I was working myself up into a sort of sweat about my dismal performance as a failure as a human being, it suddenly occurred to me that I really was being terribly terribly silly…
You see, of course I am a failure when I rely on my own merits. Like all human beings, I am weak with a weak human nature and an inferior intellect and lots and lots of things that can hold me back or draw me down.
And yet, there I was, sitting inside all the misery of my human weakness, and literally convincing myself to become as scared as possible.
And there – right in the middle of my almost frantic tears of fear – I suddenly stopped, looked up at the Crucifix that hangs above my work desk, took a breath and spoke to my Brother and Father and Everything… I spoke to my God…
And all I said was, “Daddy, I am so scared. Please help me.”
And in an instant – in a miraculous instant – I was suddenly at peace. And in that instant, I was calmed.
It was as though Christ Himself stood in the boat and said to the storm, “Be still!” (Mark 4:39).
“That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, ‘Let us go over to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?’ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’ They were terrified and asked each other, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!’” (Mark 4:35-41).
And I have been thinking about that today, as I am no longer scared. Because my Beloved calmed the storm to show me that I truly have nothing to fear… And now, I know that I cannot and will not be afraid…
And when I think about it like that, I know that my Lord and my God will look after me in all thing and that means that I truly have nothing to fear, because when I am scraed, God Himself, will tell the storm in my heart to “Be still!” (Mark 4:39).
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.