Because I trust my mother, I got myself out of bed while she made me a cup of tea and some toast and I started my day…
When my eldest son was born, I found the whole experience a very big shock.
Not only was I a brand-new mother – who despite all the younger siblings really had no idea what to do – but I was also relatively newly married (having given birth to our son only ten months after our wedding). I was also not working in paid employment for the first time in about ten years and my beautiful mother in law – who spoke no English and with whom I could only speak some pidgin Arabic – came to live with us for the first six months of my new son’s life.
Suffice it to say, there were lots of new things going on. One of the most confronting things for me – following the birth of that baby – was the physical recovery that my body actually had to go through following the birth of that child. I had always assumed that once the baby was born, thing would simply continue as normal and that everything would be relatively easy – that is certainly how my mother made it look while I was growing up. I am not talking of the new-mother’s desire to lose additional weight that she had gained while pregnant, I am talking about the recovery of muscles, skin, bones, nails and hair. I am talking about the physical difficulties associated with breastfeeding – at least for me. I am talking about the hormonal shifts that take place in a matter or minutes each day as the new mother’s body literally produces food for her child.
It was – with hindsight – one of the most difficult (and rewarding) times of my life and perhaps the thing that made it most difficult of all, was that my new baby just did not sleep very well at all, and I as a new mother did not know how to teach him to sleep – I did not even know that a baby could be taught to sleep…
That was the first time in my life that I was completely unable to sleep when I was tired and that was a very shocking thing. One day, after a particularly troublesome night, I decided that I would not wake up at my regular time and get myself out of bed. I was sick, tired and just overwhelmed. And so, I decided I would have a sleep in. My mother called to check on me and I answered briefly and told her my plan.
About fifteen minutes later there was a knock on my front door. I chose to ignore it. My mother in law let my mother in to the house. A few seconds later she was standing next to my bed waking me up.
I remember looking at her with tears in my eyes saying, “But Mum. I did not sleep. I am so tired.” And she said, “Well, Sarah, you will sleep later. You cannot sleep all day. It is not good for you.”
Because I trust my mother, I got myself out of bed while she made me a cup of tea and some toast and I started my day…
I consider that morning the first day of the rest of my life. Getting my sore, stiff, tired body out of bed that morning – even when I did not want to – was the THING that made me realise that I could do this. It made me realise that being tired and overwhelmed is passing and that there is hope that things will get better one day…
And thinking about that start that morning, I think about my Beloved. Because He too wakes me up in the morning because it is good for me. And He does this by allowing pain and suffering into my life. And knowing this today shows that the very big shock of this earthly life is in preparation for eternity.
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.