Thief

There are miracles beyond my ken, which God will use to convert the sinner to the saint…And I hold firm to that, even with my broken heart…

The Good Thief (Saint Dismas) (Unknown)

I have been thinking about miracles today.

So many times in my life I have prayed for a miracle, and ALWAYS God sees fit to grant me the miracle…

And I have been reflecting on what those miracles look like. Sometimes they look like God giving me exactly what it is I have been praying for. Other times it looks like God NOT giving me anythingthat I have asked for.

Prior to my conversion, which occurred through Grace and no merit of my own while I was praying for my little niece who was so sick some years ago, I considered that the only miracles that I received were those where God gave me exactly what I asked for. In those cases, I reasoned to myself in those days, I received many miracles and many blessings because God gave me what I wanted.

But then something happened and it changed everything… My youngest little baby went to heaven before he was even born. And I prayed so much to God asking for a miracle when that happened. First I asked Him to allow my little baby to be born safely into the world. Then – after my little baby went to heaven, I prayed for another little baby. “Please God,” I would beg, “Please just do not let my last experience of pregnancy be one of heartbreak. Please don’t let me end on a failure. Please let me have another chance.”

And for years and years and years I prayed that prayed. And for years and years and years my heart was broken.

And now – after all this time – I know for certain that I shall never have another biological child in my life. But what I also know is that I have received a miracle even in these failed prayers. You see, I know – with the eyes of faith – that God turns ALL THINGS to the good. And that means that God has sent me miracles that I cannot even fathom. And that is significant because it means that through my conversion, I have come to adopt the philosophy of Saint Anselm of Canterbury, who said, “I do not seek to understand in order that I may believe, but rather, I believe in order that I may understand.”

And, upon reading Father Ralph Gorman’s “The Last Hours of Jesus - From Gethsemane to Golgotha” at pages 255-256, I have come to understand what a miracle truly is…

“The profession of faith of the robber crucified with Christ is one of the most extraordinary events recorded in history. It is difficult to imagine anything so unlikely. When this robber looked at Jesus, he saw One who was apparently a criminal, condemned by His own people and the Roman authorities, dying now on a cross, reviled and mocked by all but a few helpless friends in a little group nearby. Yet he professed his belief that Jesus was the Messiah and begged Him to remember him at the time of His glorious return in His Messianic kingdom…He could see that Jesus was not dying like a criminal. He noted His silence, patience, and goodness. He heard Him address God familiarly as His Father and ask pardon for those who had crucified HIm. All this helped to prepare him for the very special divine grace that alone could account for his sudden conversion from sinner to saint.”

For there are miracles beyond my ken, which God will use to convert the sinner to the saint… And I hold firm to that, even with my broken heart…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.