Worth

How could I have hope if I am spending all my time treating  myself as something less than I am worth – and what a waste that is, when I am worth being a Child of God!

Simon of Cyrene (Carolyn Holmes)

It is very hard to remain confident in every situation.

The other day, I was speaking to someone who was explaining to me the difference between self-esteem and self-worth.  The former – I am told – if strongly influenced by our feelings.  If I am feeling good today, then I will have higher self-esteem.  If I am feeling tired or depressed or sad or deflated, then my self-esteem will drop.  Self-worth, in contrast – I am told – is unchangeable.  My self-worth is a product of who I am and is immutable and unchangeable.  When I can understand what my true self-worth is, then I can understand how to set boundaries, and where to let things begin and end.  When I can understand my true self-worth then I can know what I am willing to put up with – what boundaries I can set and how I am planning to go about my business.

I have been reflecting on this difference, and it seems to me that there is a great deal of difference in the feeling that comes from each of these different things…  You see, there is no hope in self-esteem, but there is great hope in self-worth.

Saint Josemaria wrote in “Friends of God” at 208, “Perhaps there is no greater tragedy for man than the sense of disillusionment he suffers when he has corrupted or falsified his hope, by placing it in something other than the one Love which satisfies without ever satiating.”

And I have been reflecting on this today.  You see, it seems to me that such hope as this requires a great deal of faith.  Perhaps the most important element of faith is understanding who I am – in other words, understanding my self-worth.  You see, if I have true faith in my identity as a child of God, then I would never sin.  After all, if I really and firmly believed in this identity and understood what it meant to have been claimed by God Himself as His own, then I would never ever want to do anything to displease Him because I would know that such a gift should not be scorned.

And this translates to so many things.  You see, not only would I not treat myself badly through sin, for what is sin other than some sort of sickness that harms my own soul?  I am addicted to sin in the way that a drug addict is addicted to drugs.  The short-term high provided by the gains of sin is ultimately harmful to my soul and over time as I grow in usage of that drug (that is, sin), I can commit greater and greater sins, until eventually I will overdose on sin and my soul will die through mortal sin that is unconfessed.

And this is the danger of sin and that sin is the product of poor self-worth, and the fruit of the sin and lack of self-worth is a total lack of hope.  For, after all, how could I have hope if I am spending all my time treating  myself as something less than I am worth – and what a waste that is, when I am worth being a Child of God!

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.