“Blessed are You, Lord God of all creation, for through Your goodness we have received the wine we offer You: fruit of the vine and work of human hands, It will become our spiritual drink.”
Over the last few years – since my conversion, which occurred through Grace and no merit of my own – I have tried to celebrate the Holy Mass more often, especially on weekday mornings.
I do not do this because I am more holy than others – or because I am acting out of a sense of obligation to God – though I certainly owe God EVERYTHING. Rather, I do this, not so that I can “help” God, but so that God can “help” me. You see, this early morning routine has become a quiet, settled moment in my day where I can clear my mind and make space for my Beloved.
And in this way, I have come to understand the words of Saint Faustina who wrote in her Diary 1037, “I find myself so weak that were it not for Holy Communion I would fall continually. One thing alone sustains me, and that is Holy Communion. From it I draw my strength; in it is all my comfort. I fear life on days when I do not receive Holy Communion. I fear my own self. Jesus concealed in the Host is everything to me. From the tabernacle I draw strength, power, courage and light. Here, I seek consolation in time of anguish. I would not know how to give glory to God if I did not have the Eucharist in my heart.”
And there is more to this morning routine than that COMMUNION with God… There is a growing familiarity with the liturgy and I have found that as I have grown more familiar with the liturgy, I have been able to – at times – suddenly realise wonderous things…
The other day, during the Consecration, I suddenly heard the words of the priest that I have heard countless times during my life as though I had heard them for the first time…
“Blessed are You, Lord God of all creation, for through Your goodness we have received the bread we offer You; fruit of the earth and work of human hands, it will become for us the bread of life.” And then, a little later, “Blessed are You, Lord God of all creation, for through Your goodness we have received the wine we offer You: fruit of the vine and work of human hands, It will become our spiritual drink.”
And it occurred to me in that moment, that God provides me with all that I need.
You see, God truly provides me with everything. And He proved it to me the other day during mass, because He showed me that FIRST He makes the “fruit of the earth” and “fruit of the vine” and THEN He allows us to offer these things back to Him so that He can use them to BECOME HIMSELF for US…
And in this way, GOD continually offers acts of love for me… Saint Teresa of Avila said, “Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul.”
And I realised when I heard those words in Holy Mass the other day, just how much LOVE God has for my miserable little soul… For He prepares everything for me – from the wheat in the fields and the grapes of the vine, which are the fruits of the earth and vine – to the PERFECT LIVING SACRIFICE OF HIMSELF IN THE MASS…
And I have come to see – like Saint Therese of Lisieux – “…that the Lord is gentle and merciful; He did not send me this heavy cross until I could bear it. If He had sent it before, I am certain that it would have discouraged me . . . I desire nothing at all now except to love until I die of love. I am free, I am not afraid of anything, not even of what I used to dread most of all . . . a long illness which would make me a burden to the community. I am perfectly content to go on suffering in body and soul for years, if that would please God...” (Saint Therese of Lisieux, “The Story of a Soul”, p.122).
And upon reflection on those words of that beautiful Saint, it occurs to me that I truly have nothing to fear, because everything that I shall ever need to offer to my Beloved He has already provided to me. After all, He has provided me with the fruits of the earth and vine so that they may be sacrificed…
How magnanimous is the Lord my God! Holy is His name!
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.